Broad Shoulders

“Just go to your room until you’ve calmed down!” I shouted to my daughter.

Frustration levels are running high in our household at the moment. K is finding school challenging. The teacher is pushing her and she is rising to the challenge. Great news but it means that at the end of the day she is tired and when she is tired, she is positively foul.
I think laid back E would move out if she were old enough.

I’m at a loss. I have no idea how to deal with K. How do I help her to manage her frustrations and exhaustion in a friendlier way? How do I guide her through the challenges so she can grow as a person? How do I remain patient when she is pushing every button that she can?

My initial reaction is to call my mother and vent. Different time zones makes this a challenge and I’ve really been missing her input recently. But I also got thinking…
I phone my Mum and I vent. I share my frustrations, I moan, I complain about my parenting issues and my Mum just listens. She also offers me advice (though the anger issue is a new one for her too). She’s too far away to give me a hug, but I know I would get one should we be having the conversation over a cuppa.
Do I offer the same to K? Do I provide her with an environment where she can vent? Have I taught her how to deal with her frustrations? Do I ensure that the ‘exasperating factors’ (hunger/ exhaustion) are not there? Do I respond with love and patience when she is shouting at me?

I think the answers would be no or sometimes. It is dreadful to admit, but as I listen to K happily interact with her siblings only 30 minutes after a massive blow up- I know that I need to do more, especially covering the ‘exasperating factors’. But what???

I would love some input on this situation as I am clueless how I can help, and my patience is stretched pretty thin…